


This Woman's Work

by BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie



Series: This Love [7]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-28 17:40:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15054392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie/pseuds/BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie
Summary: ...And baby makes three.





	1. Chapter 1

 "$3 million?  That's it?"  

 

"Do you want me to negotiate more?" 

 

I let out a frustrated sigh and ran my hand through my hair.  "Jesus, Aubrey.  It's no wonder you're an agent.  You're heartless." 

 

Aubrey looks offended at my assertion.  

 

Chloe glances back and forth between us, anticipating the blow-up that always seems to occur when Aubrey and I are in close proximity.

 

"I think you're missing the point, Bree," said Chloe. 

 

"And that is...?  I mean, you were fine to sell photos of your wedding and look at what you were able to do with it."

 

"She's not wrong, Becs.  We could give the money to HRC, St. Jude and, well, pretty much any other charitable organization we want to support."

 

"That was fine.  That was us.  Two consenting adults who could make a decision about whether we wanted pieces of our private moment splashed all over People magazine.  This time, it's an innocent child that has no say in the matter.  I feel like we're putting a price on the head of our unborn baby."

 

"So, what's the answer?" Aubrey presses. 

 

"You’re kidding me, right?  I think the answer is pretty clear, Aubrey.  No."

 

"Uh, Chloe is my client, not you, Beca.  Chloe?" 

 

"You heard my stubborn wife,"  Chloe says as she reaches for a bottle of water on the coffee table.

 

I feel somewhat betrayed.  "Wait.  Chlo, do you think we should do it? " 

 

Chloe shrugs. "Celebrities do it all the time, and we would definitely donate the money." 

 

Aubrey quirks an eyebrow at Chloe, and I seethe on the other side of the couch. 

 

"Well?" Aubrey barks into the silence.

 

I look over and sense the conflict within Chloe.  I can see the stress in her eyes.  Her brow is furrowed.  I flick back to a recent visit to Chloe's OB - an emergency visit when at 30 weeks, Chloe started experiencing contractions and light swelling in her ankles and face.  It was then - and at every visit since - that the doctor stressed the need to keep her calm, especially in these final weeks leading up to the birth of our peanut.

 

I refuse to let anything come between Chloe and the delivery of a healthy, pink, squealing, squirming baby.

 

"Aubrey, let Chlo and I talk about it for a bit. We'll get back to you by 3 with our final answer, OK?"  It’s my hopeful attempt to just diffuse the situation and help Chloe relax.

 

Aubrey looks to Chloe as if she's expecting a different answer.  "Beca's right, Bree.  We need to talk about this. I'll call you later."

 

"OK, but if I don't hear from you by 3, you're getting a phone call."

 

"I'd expect nothing less," I say. 

 

Chloe tries to push herself off the couch to walk Aubrey out.  "Babe, don't get up.  I'll kick, I mean walk, Aubrey out," and I can't help the smirk on my lips.  

 

But Chloe is already up and waddling towards Aubrey, her hand on her own back to support the weight of her 35-week old belly. 

 

"Remember, by 3."

 

"Yes Aubrey.  And lovely to see you as always. Please come again soon." I slam the door as she turns to say something else, earning a stern look from Chloe. 

 

"Bec, babe, she's just trying to do her job."  Chloe does an about face and waddles back to the couch, letting herself flop backwards on to it.  She's much too big at this point to bend enough for a controlled sit.

 

I follow her, and from behind, you’d never guess Chloe was five weeks - just over a month - from her due date.  Her muscular back and her cute butt still look like they did eight months ago. When she turns around, she’s all round, hard belly, complete with a protruding belly button that pokes out through the tight tank tops she’s still able to wear.  I don’t think she can get any more adorable. 

 

"And you are trying to grow a baby. I think you know what's more important to me."

 

I hover over Chloe, my hands on the couch cushions on either side of her head, and I drop a kiss to her lips.

 

"I know, and I appreciate it, but I think we could do a lot of good with the money."

 

"Yeah, but at what cost?  This baby's momma is a huge Hollywood star and as much we don't want it, he is going to spend his life in the public eye.  Let's give him a little bit of breathing room.  I don't want the first thing he sees to be flashbulbs."

 

I drop my head to Chloe's stomach.  "Right, little dude?"

 

"Why do you insist it's a boy?"  

 

"Well, in part because it feels weird calling him an 'it' and because I just have a feeling."  My hand strokes the swell of Chloe's belly.  I bend my head to kiss it and feel a dull punch to my cheek.  "Hey, he hit me."

 

"That's what you get for calling her a him." Chloe laughs and runs her fingers through my hair as I talk to the baby.  

 

"Hey, boy, girl, we don't care.  We are just excited to meet you, Peanut.  We have your room all ready and I've been practicing how to put a diaper on.  To be honest, it's not going well so you should stay in there a while longer until I figure it out."

 

I feel Chloe laugh again, but it’s not long after that the fingers in my hair start to slow. I look up to see Chloe's eyelids drooping.  It wasn’t so long ago that I would have pulled her down on top of me and cuddled her while she slept.  Now, it's too uncomfortable for her to lie on her back or front, or for me to be pressed up against her.

 

I softly kiss Chloe's cheek and pull back to take her in.  She is never not beautiful - first thing in the morning with her sleepy eyes and her tousled hair, right before bed after the day has had its way with her and now, very pregnant.  It's kind of not fair to the rest of us mortals.  

 

I am completely in awe of her body and the way it's constantly changing for and with this baby.  It’s a completely different kind of attraction that I feel for her now, but then, I think I've  always been drawn to Chloe's maternal side -- the one that dotes on everyone and wants to take care of them. 

 

This pregnancy, while very much wanted, hasn't always been pleasant for Chloe.  There were the many failed attempts at getting pregnant and ultimately having to switch donors.  She was devastated when the donor we originally selected -- one with dark hair in the hopes that the baby might look something like me -- had to be replaced with our second choice -- a blue-eyed redhead, upping our odds that this apple wouldn't fall too far from the Chloe tree.  I didn't mind. I mean, who is going to complain about a mini-Chloe? But she had her heart set on a baby Beca.   

 

She winced during each of the seven inseminations, cried at the first negative pregnancy test and every one thereafter, cried at the first positive test, and cried for absolutely no reason at all other than the uncontrollable hormones coursing through her body, She threw up every morning for eight weeks, no matter what we tried.  But none of that changes the fact that she's doing an absolutely amazing thing -- nurturing, growing and keeping our peanut safe.  In my mind, she's a mommy already, in every sense of the word, and I have a newfound admiration for what she’s putting herself through.  There's a new closeness between us in what we're about to experience together -- the fact that neither one of us really knows what we're in for, yet we're both willing to take the leap -- to recognize that the endgame isn't just to keep something helpless alive, but to shape this new little person into an intelligent, kind, curious, loving being.    

 

I tuck a strand of bright red hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead. She sighs. It's a happy, contented sigh, and I'm happy for her. For us.

 

This is what Chloe has always wanted -- to be a mom.  To have kids. And she is utterly committed to raising them.  So committed in fact that she has sworn off all movie offers for at least a year and has gone completely against the Hollywood grain, deciding squarely against a nanny.  She wants to be totally hands on.  None of this Mommy Dearest stuff. 

 

If we are being honest, I'm a little less confident in my ability to take care of and raise a kid.  I never played with dolls when I was young, and I've never felt particularly maternal. It wasn't anything I ever saw myself doing until I met Chloe and suddenly I'm totally invested in taking care of her and this baby. 

 

I smooth my hand over Chloe's belly and pull her legs up to rest on the ottoman.  Her head lolls to one side, obviously deep in sleep.  She needs it now as the next few months will be a steady stream of bottles and laundry and diapers until we're frazzled at our wits end.  And then, Peanut will smile a gummy smile and suddenly it will all be worth it.

 

I pass the baby's room on the way to change over the laundry and smile.  We decided in advance of the 20-week ultrasound that the gender would be a surprise so the room is a perfect yellow with a whale theme...good for either a girl peanut or a boy peanut.

 

I empty the dryer full of onesies and teeny tiny socks, burp cloths and blankets and drag them to the baby's room to fold.  I'm halfway through when I hear Chloe, calling for me.

 

I can't make it downstairs fast enough.  As her due date approaches, I'm on a hair trigger -- on the lookout for the slightest sign that she’s going into labor or that things aren’t quite right. 

 

“Baby, what is it?  What's wrong?" I ask standing in front of her.

 

Chloe looks at me with the most adorable pout on her face.  "I have to pee and I can't get up."

 

My shoulders fall in relief and I have to laugh.  "Oh, ok.  Thats all?"

 

"Don’t laugh, Becs.  This baby thinks my bladder is a punching bag so if you don't help me up, we are going to need to go shopping for a new couch."

 

I chuckle and grip her hands, pulling her to standing and she makes a b-line to the bathroom while I head into the kitchen.

 

"Thoughts on dinner?"  I yell to her. 

 

"Before any of that we need to call Aubrey with our decision."

 

"Well, what do you want to do?"

 

"How about a slightly different approach?"

 

I quirk an eyebrow." Do you want a photographer in the delivery room?"

 

"Christ no,” says Chloe slapping my arm. “I'm not even sure I want you there.” 

 

"Why?  What's the big deal?"

 

Chloe laughs.  "I will find a YouTube video and then you can tell me."

 

I come up behind Chloe and wrap my arms around her.  She looks down and sighs.  "God, I remember when you could do this and your hands would actually touch."

 

"Chlo, you're as gorgeous and amazing as ever. This," I caress her belly, her side, "is amazing.  I love you."

 

She turns to face me, draping her arms around my neck, and then turns a bit more to move to belly out of the way so I can kiss her.  

 

“What's not amazing is this stupid $3 million.”

 

Chloe pulls back to look at me with a question on her face, and I can’t do anything but roll my eyes.

 

“Yes, I heard myself call 3 million dollars stupid.  I am the very definition of #firsworldproblem.”

 

“As long as you know.”

 

“So what do you want to do, Chlo?  You said you had an idea.” I pull out a barstool and take a seat.  Chloe perches herself on my lap and I hook an arm around her, rubbing my hand up and down her back.  

 

“All right.  Well, what if instead of doing a big photo shoot thing, we take some of our own pictures that we give to them?”

 

“Yeah. I don't know.”

 

“I just thought that way, we’d have a bit more control.”

 

“I get what you’re saying, but -”

 

“But what, Becs? What is your hang-up with this?

 

“We’re exploiting our kid for money, that’s what. ”

 

“But we're not keeping the money so Peanut would be helping  -- before he or she could even walk or talk.” 

 

I'm still not quite comfortable with the idea, but Chloe makes a good point.  And her hard sell it is just too adorable to just give in so easily. 

 

“You seem to really be invested in this, Chlo.  You know, we could just as easily make that same donation from our bank account, so why put our kid in the middle of it?”

 

“Well this would be from Peanut directly.  Starting his or her life off being charitable.  I mean, that is what we want to teach our kids, right?”

 

“True.  Although…”. Chloe is getting flustered and I can't contain the smile that is breaking out across my face.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing,” I say as innocently as possible,  but Chloe catches on to my teasing. 

 

“Beca, are you fucking with me?”

 

“Well, I could be.  If that's what you want.”

 

“Beca…” she says sternly, but her silky, seductive voice and dilated pupils betray any ounce of aggravation she may be feeling.  

 

“Chlo?” I drop my tone inadvertently to match hers.  “Is that...um..something you want?”

 

Before I know it, I feel Chloe's arms around me, her warm hands on my back and her breath quickening across my lips.  I glance up into her eyes, and It’s almost as if she’s looking right through me. 

 

I thought a quick peck might snap her out of it, but it only serves to stoke her fire.  In the next second, her mouth is on mine.

 

“Baby,” I mumble against her lips after a few minutes of heated kissing. “We still need to call Aubrey.”

 

“What should I tell her?”  Before I can answer, Chloe’s tongue is licking my lips and stroking my tongue.  Her hand is at the base of my neck, fingernails gently scratching there and making my knees buckle.  

 

“Keep doing that and you can tell her whatever you want.” 

 

“Seriously?” Chloe grips my shoulders and puts me at arms length, looking at me with a serious stare.  “Five minutes ago, before my tongue was anywhere near you, you were on your high horse about this. So, what’s it gonna be?” 

 

“Fine.  I like the fact that the peanut will be 10 minutes old and still be able to help people, so as much as it pains me to say it, Dictator Posen was right.  You can call her and tell her yes.”

 

Chloe breaks into a smile that could power a small country.  “I think we’re definitely doing a good thing. And later, I’m going to do a good thing for you too.” 

 

She winks and picks up the phone, biting her lip seductively as she waits for Aubrey to answer.   


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Flexibility. Creativity.  

 

Two things that are absolutely necessary when having sex with a pregnant, horny Chloe.  Pregnant and horny seems to be her baseline these days, thanks to the crush of hormones.  How do I know?  We'll, I'm there for most of it, but we are also buying watch batteries like we own stock in the company.  And neither of us wears a watch.   

 

It’s fair to say that Chloe likes sex.  She likes it a lot.  She liked it before she got pregnant but now, it’s animalistic. 

 

Some of it is a tease though.  Her breasts have gotten much rounder and more voluptuous, but they are too sensitive for me to touch -- a lesson we learned the hard way a few weeks ago. Chloe loves when I play with her nipples, and what I thought were cries of ecstasy we're actually just...cries.  

 

Needless to say, that killed the mood pretty quickly, leaving both of us on edge until we could figure out how to have sex and actually get off. 

 

We tried it all. 

 

Chloe is undoubtedly a top, though she actually gets really turned on when I pin her to the mattress. Unfortunately, any position in which one of us is on top is off limits.  

 

Once she started to show, around her fifth or sixth month, I was still able to fuck her with my tongue, but lately, it’s been hard for her to lie on her back for any length of time.  

 

Since the baby has completely thrown off her center of gravity, sitting on my face doesn’t work as well as it used to, and I can no longer sit behind her, with her knees pulled up to her chest to rub her clit.  Her increasingly protruding stomach has hindered my reach, making it more and more difficult for me to get deep enough to bring her to orgasm. 

 

So it’s back to the drawing board. 

 

Without question, Chloe’s body still turns me on even though it’s on a temporary hiatus from doing many of the things it used to.  Touching her, feeling the heat of her skin, her mouth still makes me as wet as it did the very first time, so I’d have no problem standing on my head if it helps Chloe get off.  

 

Luckily, it hasn't come to that.  Yet.

 

XXX

 

Chloe is restless, splayed on the couch next to me, thumbing through our Netflix queue.

 

When she finds nothing to hold her attention, she puts on an episode of Friends as background noise.

 

She sighs and presses further into me.  Another sigh and she swings her legs from the couch cushion to the coffee table.

 

I eye her as she struggles to get comfortable.  My arm wrapped around her shoulders, fingers threading through her hair doesn't do anything to help still her.

 

Everytime she moves, she rocks the entire couch, and threatens to spill the cup of coffee I have balanced precariously on her baby bump.

 

The first time I did it, she didn't really see the humor in it.  “The baby and I are not your human coffee table,” she whined. 

 

But I thought it was pretty funny.  “Hey, just be glad I'm not using you two as an ottoman.”

 

Now, she looks dejected if I put my mug on anything -- or anyone -- else.

 

Just when I think Chloe is getting comfortable, she changes positions and starts the process all over again.

 

I’m starting to get seasick.  “Babe, everything OK?”

 

The question breaks Chloe out of her bubble.  “Huh? Oh yeah, i’m fine.”

 

And just like that she starts to fidget incessantly all over again.

 

“Chlo, should I move to the chair so you can spread out?”

 

“No baby.  Please stay.” She drops a hand to my thigh. 

 

“OK, well how about a pillow to put behind your back.  Make you more comfortable?”

 

I brush the hair back from Chloe’s face and she smiles, grabbing my hand and bringing it to her lips.  I think she's going to kiss my palm, and I let myself start to sink into it. 

 

To my surprise, she straightens my middle finger, bringing it up to her mouth to wrap her lips around it, stroking and licking it with her rough tongue.

 

She watches me intently as she pulls my finger out of her mouth, letting her tongue flick at the tip before taking the whole thing in her mouth again.

 

Her teeth drag down the length of my finger as she withdraws it.

 

“Chlo, what are you -?”

 

Her eyes snap up to mine and she doesn't even have to say it.  I can tell that the want, the desire that is threatening to boil over.

 

“Bec,” she breathes out desperately.  I need...I need…”

 

I hold her face in my hands and stare into her eyes, watching her pupils dilate with each passing second.  “What, baby? Tell me what you need.”

 

Without a doubt, I know that look in Chloe's eyes.

 

So when she tells me, pleading, almost whining, “I'm so horny, Bec,” it doesn't come as a surprise.  But, I can't believe the next string of words that follow.

 

“I need you to fuck me.  Hard.”

 

I'm pretty sure I emit an actual squeak, but she doesn't stop there.

 

“From behind,” she growls for emphasis, as if I needed any encouragement.

 

I’m ready to dive head first into this beautiful, sexy chaos that’s about to beset us.  

 

I stand in front of Chloe and take her hands to pull her up from the couch.  She immediately wraps herself around me and I feel her breath hitch. When she pulls back, her eyes are filled with tears.

 

“Chloe, baby,” I stroke her hair.  “What's going on with you?”

 

She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, but continues to sniffle.  “I'm so horny,”

 

“I know, Chlo, we are going to take care of it.”

 

“But I'm like a whale and I can't...I can't even have sex like a normal person and,” Chloe starts to sob again and my anxiety level shoots up.  Thinking she's in pain, I run my hands over her cheeks, her shoulders, down her arms and grip her hands. “And you don't want make love to meeeee,” she wails, dropping her head to my shoulder and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face because that couldn't be further from the truth.  But, I have to quickly put on my best poker face because Chloe is looking up at me again expectantly.

 

In the last eight and a half months I've learned the strategy for dealing with Chloe when she gets like this.  There's no consoling her and you can't tell her she's crazy or wrong because that just stokes her ire. The best thing to do is to hold her gaze and then kiss her softly, which I do. 

 

This time, it's Chloe that knocks the kiss up to NC-17.  With her lips attached to mine, her tongue deep in my mouth, she steers us into the bedroom.

 

I pull back to look at her, to make sure she's OK only to find that she's looking at me with hungry eyes, and I feel a little guilty that I'm about to have my way with her, knowing that Peanut is between us, can hear the noises we each make, can actually feel Chloe's orgasms.

 

Before I can touch her again, she's crossed her arms in front of her to grip the hem of her shirt and yanks it over her head.  Her bra is the next thing to go, but I know it's not because she wants me touch her breasts.

 

Except this time it is. 

 

Chloe takes my hands and places them over her boobs.  As she squeezes, she throws her head back and my mouth is instantly on her neck, sucking and then smoothing over the skin there, on her shoulders and down to her chest.

 

I look at her to ask the silent question and she nods in response.  Then,”just not my nipples, babe. Sensitive.”

 

I kiss her lips in understanding and make my way down between her breasts. My arms hold her tight to me as I lick and nip at her very full, very sexy boobs.  She arches her back in response, pushing herself closer to me, and the sound it draws from her is downright dirty.

 

“So turned on.” She purrs.

 

She reaches around to peel my hands from her back and holds them in hers as she walks backwards, the backs of her knees hitting the bed.  

 

I watch her as she scrambles back, closer to the headboard before following her.

 

Her head is propped up on a few pillows and she's breathing heavily, eyes hooded

 

“Chlo, you OK?”

 

Her eyes still closed, she shakes out a brief, “Yeah, it's just -”

 

I drag my hands down and over her stomach, placing a kiss right in the center.  When I do, I feel her hand on my head, holding me there. She inhales sharply. We make eye contact as she lifts her hips.

 

I hook my thumbs in her adorable little boy shorts -- they still fit her incredibly well with only her baby belly hanging over the waistband -- and drag them down her legs. Legs that I shaved yesterday because Chloe couldn't do it herself.

 

Then, I run my hands back up to her thighs, parting them.

 

“Oh baby, you're so -”

 

I can see the wetness streaked across Chloe's legs.  She bites her lip as I run my finger through her folds.  When I see her hands fist the sheets, I take pity on her.

 

Instead of teasing her anymore, I crawl back up her body and to her mouth to whisper against them, “Let me take care of you.”  I lick her lips. “I want to make love to you.”

 

She moans my name and sits up on the bed so that she can reposition herself, kneeling and then dropping forward on to her arms so she’s on all fours.

 

My hands instantly grip her hips and Chloe turns to look back at me.  “Scoot back, babe,” which she does until she's nearly at the edge of the bed, me standing behind her on the floor. I tap her hip to signal that she's where I need her.

 

She spreads her legs for me and I reach between them to cup her pussy, before dropping  a finger to her clit, drawing a groan from her.

 

My other arm wraps around Chloe, under her belly to hold her steady for what's to come.

 

I bend forward to kiss the dimples above her ass and retract the hand that's holding Chloe to stroke the soft skin across her back.

 

Once she starts to rock against my touch I wrap an arm around her again to hold her steady as my tongue finds her slit and dips into her.

 

“Mmmmm.”

 

My other hand reaches around to scissor her clit in between my two fingers while my tongue pushes even deeper into her.

 

She’s grinding hard against me and I feel her start to tighten around my tongue, but then moans turn into whimpers and I see Chlo drop her head between her arms.

 

My instinct, which Chloe can sense, is to stop, but she rasps out “Don't stop” before I can even slow my thrusts.

 

I'm listening carefully for what she needs and Chloe isn't shy with her direction.  “So good baby, but I need your fingers.”

 

I pull away and lick Chloe off of my lips, loving how sweet she tastes.  I feel her reach down in between her legs, holding her hand over mine to keep the pressure on her clit, while I drag two fingers through her pussy.

 

She is so wet and so turned on that they slip easily inside her, displacing some of her juices when they do.  I can't resist and drop my mouth back down to her to lick her pussy lips and whatever is left behind on the backs of her thighs.

 

When I enter her, she moans and I pull her back to me so that the palm of my hand is flush with her pussy.  She’s completely still. The only sound is our heavy breathing -- hers slightly faster than mine, punctuated by soft grunts whenever I move inside her.

 

For a time, she seems to be content with my fingers curling and flexing, but then I feel her start to push against me, as if she needs me deeper.

 

She's riding my fingers hard, calling out my name with every thrust. Her other hand is still atop mine, rubbing her clit.

 

My arm burns, but I won't stop until Chloe comes.  I'm able to change my angle slightly by stepping up on the bed behind her and dropping my shoulder to to tip my fingers upward, hoping that the new position will hit her in a different spot to make her come.

 

Her moans are getting louder and more desperate.  Her quick thrusts are her “tell” that she's getting close.  

 

In the next second, she gasps and then my fingers are suddenly outside her, but I never felt her pussy flutter and contract around me when she came.  I'm not even sure IF she came.

 

She leaves me at the edge of the bed and has flopped on to her back, resting against the pillows, still breathing heavily.

 

Her brow is furrowed and there is still desperation lingering in her eyes. 

 

Baby, did you - ?

 

She vigorously shakes her head “No.”

 

“What happened?  What do you need, Chlo?” It's probably a stupid question to ask because I know the answer.  She needs to come. Hard.

 

I need...Beca. Bec -

 

“I'm here babe.  What? Anything.”

 

“I...oh god...it...I'm so fucking -- ” 

 

Chloe is writhing.  She is literally begging, pleading for a release, as if I’m purposely keeping her orgasm from her.  Her body is tense and rigid. I wish I could just climb on top of her, put my clit directly on hers and ride the hell out of her, but that won't work.

 

Instead, I rub her clit in tight circles to keep her with me while I reach in the nightstand drawer.  

 

If she wants me to fuck her.  I am going to do it right.

 

I put Chloe's hand on her clit in place of mine, and I stand up.

 

“I know what you need,” I say as I attach the purple dido to the harness.  “That's right baby. You look so hot with your hand between your legs.”

 

Chloe is well past the dirty talk.  I'm not even sure she's listening to me, but I need to keep things going while I'm adjusting the harness straps.

 

When Chloe's eyes finally snap to mine and then down to the dildo, I know she registers what's about to happen.  She starts to crawl over to me and, as she does, she reaches between her legs, coating her fingers.

 

She wraps her hand around the dildo and starts to stroke it, covering it with her juices.  The pull on the harness rubs against my clit sending a tiny little shockwave through my body and I shiver.

 

Once I’m able to refocus, I take Chloe's hand and lead her to the desk chair in the corner of our room.

 

I sit down, the purple appendage semi erect, and Chloe follows to straddle my lap. I hold her hand, the other on her waist as she lifts one leg over my lap.  For as pregnant as she is, she is still lithe and graceful. My hands move to her hips to guide her down. 

 

She positions herself astride me and her lips are immediately on mine.  

 

“This is much better,” I say, running my hands through her hair.  “I love watching you, kissing you while you come, having you moan in my mouth.”  

 

Chloe tugs at my bottom lip with her teeth and then kisses me again soundly before releasing it.

 

She reaches down between us, blindly grasping the for the dildo and lining it up with her entrance.  I watch eyes wide as she lowers herself onto it, throwing her head back as the tip enters her.

 

She stops to let herself adjust and I'm thankful because I need a minute.  Watching a stark naked Chloe sink into my lap literally makes me forget how to breathe.  I’m taking in every sexy inch of her, not wanting to miss a second, wishing my eyes were cameras so that I could just hit play on this moment whenever I wanted to feel more than turned on.  Whenever I wanted to feel love. 

 

We feel as if we are moving in slow motion. As much as I want to just make her scream my name, as much as I want to feel the squeeze of her thighs around mine,  I'm OK with taking our time and being present. Still, it’s really hard not to let my mind race ahead to all of the dirty things I want to do her. All of the places I want to put my mouth.  All of the soft, tanned skin that’s mine to lick, nip and taste. It’s possibly our last time together with this level of intimacy, at least for the next six weeks while she recovers.

 

Chloe’s hands are draped over my shoulders, playing with the curls at my neck.  At a slight wince that sprints across her face, I squeeze her, which prompts her to look up at me and see the worry in my eyes.   She ducks her head to kiss me slowly and sighs sweetly against my lips. 

 

When she pulls away, I glance down and see that her pussy is now flush with the base of the dildo.  She squirms a bit to adjust, and the pressure of her pushes the harness against my clit, which almost makes me double over. 

 

Instead, she leans forward, bringing our bodies together.  I marvel at the way she somehow still seems to fit with me, despite her cute belly.  My hands tighten around her rib cage, sliding down her back to grip her ass, and I shift slightly.  The change in angle makes her gasp and she drops her head to my shoulder.

 

“Fuck me, Bec,” she rasps, and she immediately starts to work her hips against me.   Her eyes are closed and her lips are parted, lost in her own little world of pleasure as she rocks herself.  I’m doing nothing at the moment but guiding her motions and trying to ignore the way the base of the dildo hits my clit every time she rolls her body.  

 

She moves one hand from around my neck and cups her breast, bringing it to my mouth.  I take one long lick of her nipple and await her reaction since I know they’ve been sensitive and even downright painful at times.  When I get a soft moan, rather than a cry, I wrap my lips around it and gently suck at it, loving the way it hardens under my tongue.  

 

When I feel the loss of Chloe’s other hand at my neck, I glance to the side only to realize that she’s rolling her other nipple between her thumb and forefinger.  I move my mouth immediately, trapping her taut bud and her fingers. She continues to pinch while I suck her, and the sensation spurs faster, harder, longer thrusts.

 

I grip up under her ass to help her through the motion. To push deeper into her.  I watch her watch herself fucking me, her hair falling in between us.

 

Suddenly, she snaps her head up, panting, and plunges her tongue into my mouth.  Her strokes against my tongue time to the way her pussy is stroking up and down the dildo, and I can tell she’s getting close to coming. 

 

I reach down to hold the base, keeping it inside her while she thrusts, and shift my hips up once more.  She gasps sharply and I know the tip is now hitting her where she needs it most. 

 

“Oh, god. Fuck,Beca.”

 

There’s a thin sheen of sweat over both our bodies.  I taste it before I even see it as I nip at her shoulder. 

 

“That’s right, Chlo, baby.  I want you to come.” 

 

“I am.  I’m going to,” her breath hitches, “come so hard for you.”  She shudders and I pull her body to mine, holding her close.  Her arms wrap around my shoulders as she nuzzles into my neck, chest heaving heavy and fast.    

 

I reach down between us, trailing fingers through tight, strawberry blonde curls to find her clit.  She flinches when I touch it, but doesn’t let it throw her rhythm. I press into it once, pulling an anguished groan from her, and feel it hot, swollen and throbbing.  

 

My finger slides back and inside her, flush against against the dildo before slipping over her clit -- a path I repeat again and again -- and I know I’m driving Chloe crazy as her hips start to falter and stutter.  

 

I rub her in tight circles, alternating the motion by scissoring her in between my two fingers. The soft moans and coos that turned into deep groans and grunts are now long, unintelligible whines as I watch her grind her hips.  I can’t take my eyes off the way her body works with mine and if I concentrate hard enough, I think I can almost feel her pussy flutter around the dildo. 

 

“Becs, I’m...I’m….Oh...oh,  fuuuuuck....Yes...I’m - ”

 

The orgasm cuts off her thought as it rockets through her.  She comes hard, as promised, before her head drops to my shoulder.  I take her in my arms and stroke my fingers up and down her back, just feeling her against me, listening to her breath and getting caught up in her sweet scent. 

 

When she recovers, she cups my cheeks in her hands and pulls us together hard for a kiss that’s actually lot softer and more romantic than I expected it to be, but still just as delicious. 

 

I take her hands from my face and lace my fingers with her left hand. She reaches down with her right to guide the dildo out as she stands up slowly, gently, like a foal testing out its legs for the first time.  I guide her over to bed and sit her down on the edge. Standing between her thighs, I pepper her face and neck with light kisses. 

 

Her body, especially her chest, is still flushed and I think she’s never looked more alluring and captivating as she subconsciously smooths a hand over her belly.  I sit next her, my hand finding hers there, my fingers slipping into the spaces between hers. 

 

I nip at her jawbone, smiling against it as I feel the pop of Peanut’s elbow or foot push against us.  

 

She tips her head back and whimpers, feeling my tongue and teeth at her skin.  Then, a leg hooks across my lap as she takes us both down to the mattress. We’re on our sides facing one another and I know from the way her eyes are tracking my every movement that she’s not not done yet.  

 

“Roll over,” I whisper against her lips. 

 

With her back to my front, I part her knees with mine and drag the tip of the dildo from the top of her pussy, over her clit and back inside her.  She’s still swollen and sensitive, but wet enough that she has no problem taking me all at once. I drape an arm over her waist and pull myself closer and closer to her as I sink into her slit.

 

“Yes, baby,” she groans as she bends her leg and draws it back to rest on my thigh, giving me more access to work.  The hand that was gripping her hip relents, trailing down her bikini line and back in between her legs. With two fingers, I gently pull back on the hood of her clit, exposing the ultra-sensitive button of nerves and I start to play with her, rolling it under the pads of my fingers, then sliding my whole hand down so she can rock against my palm. 

 

This time, it’s my hips working to get her off.  I press her to me as I thrust into her from behind, careful not to push her on to her front, but it’s not getting the reaction from Chloe that I want...or frankly that she needs. 

 

I pull out slowly and hear her wince at the loss of contact.  “Trust me,” I say as I lift her top leg and prop it over my shoulder, silently thanking God or Shiva or whomever that she does yoga every morning.  A bendy Chloe is my favorite Chloe. She winks at me, clearly thinking the exact same thing. 

  
With her leg up in the air, I’m able to straddle the leg that’s against the mattress, scooting closer to her, so just the tip of my dildo brushes her pussy. 

 

“Just do it, Becs. Don’t tease the pregnant lady.” 

 

I can’t help but laugh because what is sex if it’s not fun and sometimes clumsy, which it very well may be as I’m trying to balance over Chloe’s leg and guide a silicone dick into her, all while holding her other leg in the air. 

 

As if Chloe can tell I’m juggling a lot, she reaches down between her legs and spreads her pussy lips with two fingers.  

 

Just like that, I’m deep inside her, my pubic bone hitting her clit every time I push into her.

 

“That feels so...so good,” she breathes out.  “Oh my...wow.” 

 

I pitch forward, my hands on either side of her so that I can work my hips harder and faster. The burn in the back of my thighs is brutal but so worth having a writhing Chloe on the mattress before me -- watching her brow furrow as I fuck her, seeing her pussy get wetter and wetter with each stroke, hearing the sounds of my fake dick squelching into her.  Yet, I can’t help but feel something is missing. 

 

“Becaaaaa, what the…” she whines when I withdraw the dildo and scramble on to my stomach, feeling her leg drape down my back and her heel hit my ass cheek.  “What are you do - “ 

 

I wrap my lips around her clit and push the flat of my tongue against her before I begin alternating between long licks and hard sucks.  She grips my hair to hold me close to her, and I relish having my face slick with her wet heat. 

 

Chloe is a mess, coming apart on me. Under me, but I can’t see.  I can only feel how her body reacts to my mouth as her hips involuntarily start to rock against me.  She lets out a yelp at a particularly forceful suck and I pull back, thinking I’ve hurt her, but before I can even look at her for direction, she pants, “No, no, that was good. Keep going.” 

 

My mouth is back on her instantly, and I bring up two fingers to dip inside her, which prompts her to reach down and push them in further, holding them there. 

 

“Shit, babe.  I’m going to come.” 

 

I think she tries to push my head away, but I want her to come with my mouth on her, my fingers inside her.

 

The next string of words out of her mouth are absolutely unintelligible.  Even if they weren’t, the muffled ringing in my ears from the sheer pleasure of this moment would turn anything into a jumble of sounds.  

 

Her hips wrench upwards and it’s a struggle to stay inside her. The only thing holding me there is the way her pussy walls contract around my fingers again and again. 

 

When she drops back to the mattress, I feel her tap my head, and I crawl up to her. 

 

We’re again lying face to face, but only for a split second before she hooks a hand around the back of my head and pulls me to her so she can taste herself on my face.  Now I’m the one panting. “Fuck, Chlo. How are you so damn hot?” 

 

Both our chests are heaving, her nipples brushing against mine everytime she inhales.  It’s probably enough to turn us both on again, but we’ve somehow transcended that. Right now, I’m more focused on the way she’s looking into my eyes.  The want and need from about two hours ago has been replaced with exhaustion yes, and satisfaction, but also love and tenderness. 

 

“You take such good care of me,” she says, caressing my shoulder. “And I don’t just mean in bed.  “We’re,” her eyes drop down to the belly between us, “so lucky to have you.” 

 

With that, she places a chaste kiss on my lips. I move to spoon her, but realize too late that both of us have forgotten I’m still wearing the harness. She yelps as I poke her in the butt with the dildo and turns to stare me down, but can’t stay upset for long if at all.  

 

“Oh, you didn’t want to go again?” I say as I unstrap the harness.

 

“I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to.” She pulls me down behind her, taking my arm and draping it across her stomach. I pull her close, cradling her and Peanut as we all drift off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

“I hate my name.”

 

“You do? Well I love it.  It's different,” Chloe says as she swings her legs on to the lounge chair by the pool.  “Growing up, there were a ton of Jennifers and Stephanies and Ashleys and Brittanys, but you were...are... the only Beca.”

 

“And you are the one and only Chloe.” I lift my sunglasses to look at her, “Hey, if Peanut is a girl maybe we name her Chloe Jr.”

 

“I'm pretty sure girls don't have juniors.”

 

“Well, why not?  You can start a trend.  Instead of being like all these other Hollywood stars, who name their kid after fruit or a direction on a map, she can be a junior.”

 

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to decide on a name for your baby.  Chloe is due in two weeks, and we’re spending today by the pool thumbing through a baby name book. 

 

“How about after my grandmother?  Eleanor?”

 

“I like that,” I say, rubbing on sunscreen. 

 

“What was your grandmother's name?”  

 

“Frances.  We could call her Frankie for short.”

 

“That’s sweet.  Do you still like Violet?”

 

“I do.  What about Natalie?

 

“Yeah, Natalie could be cute.”

 

“It is cute, but does it also say strong? Successful? I don't want to stick her with a name that is going to drag her down.”

 

“What about Clementine?”

 

“Case in point. Like seriously, Chlo? She sounds like she should either be roping cattle at a rodeo or working a stripper pole.”

 

“Fine.  And I guess Maddie is out of the question.”  My jaw drops. I can’t believe Chloe is bringing that up now.    “What? Too soon?” she smarts. 

 

“Althea?”

 

“What?”

 

“It's a Grateful Dead song.” 

 

“It's, uh...it's definitely different. I'd have to think about it.”

 

“Well, while you're doing that, think about some boys names too, because we don't want to fall in love with Sophia or Ava if she turns out to be a he.”

 

There's silence and then Chloe speaks.  “I mean, I’d like something a bit more interesting than Matthew or Michael, but not as out there as like Robot Pilot.”

 

“August?”

 

“After the month?”

 

“Or you know, the Roman Emperor.”

 

“Eh.  What about George?”

 

I shrug.  “It sounds like an old man.“

 

“George Clooney!”

 

“George Costanza!”

 

“Point taken.  Noah?”

 

“Where's his ark?”

 

“Beca,” she scolds.

 

“What?  We're being honest.  I know. What about Dashiell.  After Dashiell Hammett?” 

 

Chloe tilts her head to the side as if she’s considering it, but she doesn’t commit.

 

“OK.  Fletcher?”

 

“Dashiell.  Fletcher. Mitchell Beale.  It's a lot of “Ls’.”

 

“Well, Dash or Fletch for short.  He sounds like a really cool, fun, easy-going guy.” I take a gulp of water. 

 

“He kinda sounds like a douchy frat bro.” 

 

Chloe’s comment makes me choke. “Hey!  What did you just call our baby?”

 

She laughs and then tosses the baby name book onto the end of the chair, sighing.  “Ugh! We are never going to find a name.”

 

“Don't forget we have to pick a middle name, too.”

 

Chloe presses her face into a towel to stifle her cry of frustration.

 

“Chlo, really. Don't worry about this.  Of all the things you have to concern yourself with…”

 

“They won't let us leave the hospital without a name.”

 

“Well if he --” Chloe glares at me, expectantly.  “Or she has a weird name, I m not letting him -- or her -- come home with us.”

 

“Beca!” 

 

“Look Chlo, we’re as prepared as we can be with a list of names we like,  but what if Peanut comes out and doesn't look anything like the names we picked out? Let's just meet the Peanut and see what he -- “

 

“Or she,” we both say at the same time, “looks like.  I don't want to commit to calling her Scarlet or Lincoln when the baby looks more like a Mabel or a Ralph.”

 

“Poor baby,”  Chloe rubs a hand over her bump sympathetically. 

 

“We have a few names at the top of our list, which is good, so let's just go from there.”

 

Chloe leans over to kiss me. “ And to think, I was almost Audrey.

 

I pull back and look at her, startled.  “I - we- I don't know if I could be with an Audrey. She sounds like someone who likes to knit clothes for her 7 cats.”

 

Chloe smacks my arm in mock offense.  “Well that's fine. I don't know if being with a Cordelia would have been my jam.”

 

“What the -- how did you know that was almost my --”

 

“After your great grandmother, right? Your mother mentioned it once.”

 

“When do you talk to my mom?  And how long have you been waiting to bust out that tidbit of info?”

 

“Oh, a long time, but it was worth it just to see the look on your face, Cordelia.  Er, I mean,” Beca.

 

“Look, because you're cute and 38 and a half weeks pregnant, I'm going to give you a 15 second head start to run away.  I suggest you use it. 1..2..3…”

 

Chloe giggles and reaches over to grab my hands to help her up, “7...8...9,” as she waddles back into the house, as fast as the Peanut will let her, with me close on her tail, laughing.


	4. Chapter 4

Chloe has been rolling back and forth on the giant blue exercise ball for the last three, maybe four hours.

 

Her OB said it would help relieve the pressure of labor on her back and hips, but if Chloe's soft, frequent groans are any indication, it’s not really helping.

 

I kneel in front of her to hand her another cup of ice chips and I can see the wear in her beautiful face, her forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat.  The pain and exhaustion, tinged with a bit of fear has already settled in her eyes. 

 

“Any progress?”

 

Chloe's contractions have been slowing over the last hour or so, making us both nervous.

 

She shakes her head.  “Something doesn't feel right, Becs,” she groans out.  “The contractions are still really far apart.”

 

“OK, Chlo. OK.” I lightly kiss her cheek and stand up.  “You keep doing what you’re doing. I’m going to call Dr. Pham.

 

She nods. I peel the damp tendrils of red off her face and into a ponytail. 

 

“Keep breathing, baby,” I say keeping an eye on her as I walk into the kitchen to find the number for our OB’s answering service.

 

Only a few minutes later Dr. Pham calls back.

 

I'm in the living room with Chloe, rubbing her back and watching the energy drain from her hour after grueling hour.

 

“Sorry for calling so late, er, um, early, I guess, Dr. Pham.”

 

“No problem, Beca,” she says.  “What time did she start laboring?”

 

“Around 10:30 or 11 last night, so this has been going on for nearly six hours and her contractions are still about 10 to 12 minutes apart.”

 

“Hmmm, OK.  Is she feeling the baby move at all?”

 

I look at Chloe.  She is folded over the seat of the couch, resting her head on her arms, still rocking on the exercise ball. She can hear both ends of the conversations and shakes her head “Not much.”

 

I relay the information to Dr. Pham.

 

“Beca, do you guys have your bags packed?”

 

“Yep, they’re ready to go.”

 

“OK, I'm going to leave now for the hospital.  I'd like you and Chloe to meet me there. No need to rush, but please don't waste time either.  I will see you there in about half an hour.”

 

The sky is just starting to change from deep blue to pale oranges and purples as I load Chloe into the car.  It's October 7 and I wonder if today's the day we’ll meet our Peanut.

 

I buckle the seat belt under her swollen belly and kiss it before I kiss her and start to shut the door but she grabs my hand.  “Beca, I'm scared.”

 

“I know you are baby, but I'm going to be right here with you the whole time.”

 

I squeeze her hand.

 

“I'm worried that I'm not feeling the baby very much. What if -”

 

I cut her off with another kiss to her lips -- this one firmer and sure.  My gaze and voice don't waver when I tell her not to worry. As scared as I am for all of us I can't let her on to the  strands of worry that are weaving themselves around my brain and the heavy knot that's settled in my stomach. “It's not going to do any good, babe, and it's just going to make you feel worse. This is why we're going to the hospital and not sitting around waiting, OK?”

 

Chloe nods and I hand her a plastic bag, just in case her nausea turns into something worse on the way.

 

Her head lolls back on the seat.  Her eyes are closed but that doesn't stop the near constant roll of tears.

 

I reach over and put my hand on her thigh.  In any other instance, Chloe would make a suggestive remark, or push my hand higher with that sly smirk on her face.  As a reflex, I break into a small smile anticipating her playful response before I remember the gravity of all this -- that a new life hangs in the balance and suddenly, my vision clouds over with my own tears.

 

I quickly wipe them away and shake the thought from my head.  I can't cry. I can't think negative thoughts. I need to be strong for beautiful Chloe and our newborn baby.

 

We make it to the hospital in record time, thanks to a string of green lights and no traffic.  Someone is on our side today. Of course, I like to think my Fast and Furious driving had something to do with it too.

 

Chloe is quickly admitted and her sweats are replaced with a hospital gown.  She is hooked up to a fetal monitor that emits a fairly consistent rhythm...except when Chloe has a contraction.  Then, an eerie and uncomfortable silence falls on the room.

 

Dr. Pham shakes her head and Chloe starts to cry harder.

 

I've been relegated to a chair in the corner.  After stroking Chloe’s hair and kissing her temple -- gestures that I thought would be soothing and supportive -- she told me in no uncertain terms to go away and leave her alone.

 

The nurse chuckled and said outbursts like that were perfectly normal, but nothing about tonight or this baby’s entrance into the world has been normal so far, and her words weren't as reassuring as I'm sure she wanted them to be.

 

With the look of concern on Dr. Pham’s face and the now steady sobbing from Chloe, I take my chances and pull my chair closer to her bedside, taking her hand gently in mine, careful to avoid the IV port on the back of her hand.

 

Then, I take a deep breath and ask one of the hardest questions of my life -- the one I knew was plaguing Chloe as well.

 

“Dr. Pham, is everything OK?  Is the baby OK?”

 

“Chloe.  Beca.” Chloe tightens her grip on my hand as she opens up her eyes and looks reluctantly me and then at Dr. Pham.  “Here’s where we’re at. The baby's heart rate is dropping every time Chloe has a contraction and, believe it or not, these aren't even really the most intense ones, which makes me worry about what will happen when your labor progresses, if it progresses at all.”

 

“So, what does that mean?  What about the baby?”

 

“The baby is in a bit of distress.”  Chloe gasps and throws an arm over her eyes, audibly sobbing.

 

Dr Pham looks at her with pity and I rush to wrap her in a hug as best I can, given the wires and tubes connecting her to various machines and IVs.

 

She continues.  “He or she isn’t getting as much oxygen as they need, which could have long-term effects...”

 

I am scared but I won't pretend it rises to the level of what Chloe is feeling.  I can't imagine nurturing another life for nine long months only to have it end in a potentially devastating outcome.  I think I'd hate my body for failing me, for failing our baby who never even got the chance to take a breath or smell Chloe’s skin or feel her soft but sure touch on its back.

 

Like any other parents, all we want is a healthy baby and now, we may not get that chance.

 

I shudder and push the fear and anger down as deep as it will go, peppering Chloe's face with light kisses instead.

 

“That's why I don't really want to chance it anymore. My strong recommendation is to have Chloe deliver via C- section.”

 

Chloe's eyes get wide.  

 

“It’s pretty serious surgery, so talk it over.”  Dr. Pham excuses herself to let us think this through.

 

“Chlo, are you OK with that plan? I know you really wanted to try for a natural birth, but I think there’s too much at stake.”

 

Chloe just looks at me as the tears continue to fall.  

 

I take her face in my hands drying her cheeks with thumbs as best I can.  The sheer terror in her eyes is almost overwhelming, but she slowly starts to nod in agreement.

 

“Do you think it's the right thing, Becs?”

 

“I really do babe.  Both for you and the peanut.” 

 

“But the surgery.  I’m scared. What if something happens.” 

 

“Chlo, I think this is a pretty routine surgery with low odds of something going wrong for either of you.”  I place a hand over her belly that Chloe covers with hers. I can feel her trembling. “I wouldn’t root for this if I didn’t think it was our best option.”

 

Chloe takes a sharp breath. “OK. OK,” she says, almost as if to reassure herself.  “Let's go have a baby.”

 

She smiles a pitiful, watery smile and I kiss her parched lips, whispering an “I love you,” against them. “I'm going to get Dr. Pham back in here.  Be right back.”

 

In no time at all, Chloe is surrounded by a team of nurses and orderlies who are disconnecting her from the monitors and hooking her up to a whole new array of IV bags, transferring her to a different gurney, putting her hair up under a cap, and administering an anesthetic -- all of which serves to push Chloe and I further and further apart.

 

I stand up against the wall, completely outside Chloe's world now, watching the scene unfold around me. It’s like I’m watching a movie.  Like this isn’t happening in real life. There's nothing for me to do now, except to try to catch Chloe’s eyes, to tell her I love her and we’ll be back together soon, but I'm wrenched from that attempt by a shrill sustained  _ beeeeeeeep.   _ The sound of a flatline. A code.  My eyes shoot upwards to a motionless Chloe laid out in the hospital bed, but when no one seems to be rushing to her aid, I automatically assume it's the baby, and bite back my tears.

 

Across the room, a nurse notices my sobs and says, “Mom?”  I don’t think she’s talking to me, but I look up anyway and she steps to the left to put herself in my line of sight. “Mom,  it's OK, we just disconnected the fetal heart rate monitor so we could move Other Mom. Everyone is doing fine. Baby is doing great.”. She shoots me a reassuring smile.

 

With that, the orderlies start to move Chloe, but Dr. Pham stops them.  “Beca, we’re taking Chloe to the OR. Nurse Kinney is going to get you suited up and bring you to us in about 20 minutes.”  Dr. Pham puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Everything is going to be fine. We'll see you in bit.”

 

She leaves the room.  The orderlies back away, leaving Chloe and me with a brief moment of quiet -- probably the last between the two of us for the next several months at least.  I approach Chloe's bed. She looks so small and vulnerable, despite her huge belly protruding from the blanket that rests over her. I kiss her forehead and whisper against it, “I love you Chlo.  You are so strong and we are going to have this beautiful healthy baby so soon now. I'm so proud of you.”

 

I hug her the best I can, conscious of all the tubes and IV lines that make her look like a life-sized subway map, and then the orderlies wheel her and our Peanut away from me.

 

Nurse Kinney reappears, carrying a full, white suit that she calls a bunny suit, shoe covers and a cap for my hair, similar to the one Chloe was wearing.

 

“Beca, right?”

 

I glance up at her and I'm sure I nod.

 

She hands me the garment.  “Put these on over your clothes and then I’ll come back to take you to Chloe.”

 

When I don't move, she breaks into a smile.  “Chloe and the baby are just fine, Beca. You are going to meet -- is it a him or her?”

 

“Uh, it's a surprise.  The gender is a surprise.”  I can't help but break into a smile.

 

“Oh my God, that's awesome. Well you're going to meet him or her in just a few minutes.  Now I'm  _  really  _ excited to find out what you're having!”

 

“Thanks.  Me too,” I say as I suit up.  “Is this all right? Like it's on the right way?”

 

Nurse Kinney nods. “I know it's not glamorous, but it works for these purposes.  C’mon.”

 

We leave the room.  I follow Nursey Kinney along the same long hallway that they rolled Chloe down, through a set of double doors marked “Authorized Personnel Only,” that open only when she swipes a button over the card reader.

 

She stops us about three doors from the end of the hallway and says “Wait here” before bringing the surgical mask up around her nose and mouth and entering the OR.

 

In stereotypical 1950s sitcom style, I pace the hall until Nurse Kinney re-emerges.  She removes the mask and smiles. “You have a firecracker in there.” I feel my shoulders release.  “Chloe is doing great. They just finished the spinal and she took it like a champ. She's demanding that they not deliver the baby until you're there.”

 

I laugh a little. “That sounds like Chlo.”

 

“We should get the 'all clear’ any minute now.”

 

Just then, another nurse pokes her head out of the OR snd gestures for us to come in. 

 

Chloe is laid out on the operating table, her arms out to her sides and a drape over her midsection, blocking her view of anything below her waist.

 

“Hi, baby,” she says weakly.  

 

Nurse Kinney directs me to a stool near Chloe’s head.  “Have a seat, Beca. Just try not to stand up at all. We don't need you passing out on us.”

 

With that, Chloe's eyes shoot open and I feel like I'm looking at them for the very first time.  The blue of her irises is so concentrated -- it's like they were saturated with food coloring. “Baby, did you pass out?” She asks, blindly fumbling for my hand.  

 

I chuckle. “No, Chlo.  I've just been hanging out in this sexy number,” I gesture down to the bunny suit and Chloe smiles a tired smile. “And waiting to see you and our Peanut. Are you ready?”

 

She nods. “So ready?  Are you?”

 

“No idea, but there's no going back now, is there?”

 

“Not now that I got the really good drugs.”

 

I laugh and kiss Chloe's head. A few of the nurses laugh along with us but Dr. Pham’s voice from behind the drape shocks us back to reality.  “OK, Chloe, you're going to feel a weird tugging sensation. It shouldn't hurt. If it does, tell us.”

 

Chloe emits a small “OK,” never taking her eyes off me, and the doctor gets to work. I can tell by the motion of Chloe's body that they are pulling hard. It's violent. “Can you feel any of that?”

 

It takes her a few extra seconds to respond as she evaluates.  “Nope. Just a bit of pressure. What did I say? Good drugs.”

 

“Chloe, you're doing so great.  A little more tugging now.”

 

“Mm-hmm.” 

 

There's suction and a splash of blood hits the other side of the drape. I flinch at the sound but try to keep my recoil to a minimum in the hopes Chloe won't notice.

 

She looks at me and squeezes my hand.  “I'm so proud of you.” I say. Even in this state she's frustratingly gorgeous. 

 

She closes her eyes and smiles.  I peck her lips, and linger for a moment, but that moment is interrupted by a squawk from below the drape.

 

Chloe and I jerk back sharply, eyes wide.

 

“Chloe, Beca. Here is your baby.  Beca, do you want to tell us what it is?” Dr. Pham asks holding up a wet and bloodied, squirming greyish bundle.

 

I look at our peanut and then to Chloe.  “It’s a …”


	5. Chapter 5

 

  _“Chloe, Beca. Here is your baby.  Beca, do you want to tell us what it is?” Dr. Pham asks holding up a wet and bloodied, squirming greyish bundle._

_ I look at our peanut and then to Chloe.  “It’s a …” _

 

Boy! 

 

A nurse rushes the baby from Dr. Pham to a waiting incubator, rubbing him down with blankets the way one might buff a car to a bright shine.

 

Chloe turns to me with a huge smile and tears in her eyes.  “Oh my god. It's a boy, baby. We have a boy.” Her hands are still immobilized, but she raises her head to get her lips closer to mine.  It's a very wet, emotional kiss. And then Chloe pulls back to look at me “Is he OK?”

 

I look over at Nurse Kinney who gives me a thumbs up.  I turn and smile at Chloe. “He's great, babe. And you.  You were amazing.”

 

“I didn't do much.  It was all Dr. Pham.”

 

“Are you kidding me?  Look at that little boy over there. You did that, Chlo.  You!”

 

Chloe smiles and I just can't look away from her. I can't believe her body did this, produced this, nurtured this other tiny little body inside her.

 

Chloe, sweaty, tired and exposed, is suddenly so much more beautiful to me in a completely different way.  I can't stop staring at her, smoothing her hair back and playing with the little curls poking out of her cap.  She's watching me, her bottom lip between her teeth and I can tell she's wondering what I'm thinking, but before I can say anything, Nurse Kinney taps me on the shoulder. 

 

“Do you want to meet this handsome devil?” 

 

I look at Chloe.  “Are you OK if I…?” She nods and I shoot her a wink before going over to the incubator.

 

Baby Boy is the spitting image of Chloe with beautiful blue eyes, blonde -- almost white -- eyebrows, long curly eyelashes, and a fuzzy patch of soft, red floss atop his head.  

 

He’s pinked up nicely and will undoubtedly have Chloe's fair, freckled skin.  I might as well just invest in a lifetime supply of sunscreen now. He has 10 fingers and 10 toes, none of which he wants to keep swaddled, despite the nurses’ best efforts, and a set of lungs that make him sound like Axl Rose singing “Welcome to the Jungle.”  

 

HIs screeches and squawks continue as one of the other nurses picks him up, puts a tiny hat on his head and hands him to me.  I kiss his cheek and walk him over to Chloe, undoing his blanket, while Chloe pulls down the front of her hospital gown so I can place him directly on her chest.  The contact immediately silences him.

 

Feed from the IVs, she's able to put one protective hand on his back, another on his head to hold him to her. Something inside of me constricts when I see Chloe with him.  It feels like it should be panic or fear, and maybe there's a little of that, but it mostly just feels...right. Chloe was built for this. It's something she's wanted for so long and I was the one to be able to give it to her.  She wanted it with me and we are going to do this together. My love for her, for him, for both of them, in this moment is just overwhelming. The feeling of wanting to take care of and protect both them is suffocating in all the best possible ways and freeing at the same time.  I ...we have a family. 

 

We are a family.

 

I take a moment to take it all in, before Nurse Kinney approaches. “You guys look so good together.  I hate to split you up, but Chloe, they still need to finish up with you. Beca, you and Baby Boy here are going to come with me and Chloe will meet you in recovery shortly.

 

I kiss Chloe as another nurse takes the baby to re-swaddle him. “I’ll, we’ll, see you in just a bit.” I say holding on to her hand for as long as possible, trailing my fingers across her palm as I follow the nurse out.

 

Once the baby and I are in recovery, there is an endless stream of nurses coming to check on him and administer various procedures or medications.  And then suddenly the quiet calm hits and I realize it's just the two of us.

 

I take him in my arms while he gapes at his new surroundings, eyes falling shut when it gets to be too much.  I talk to him constantly, telling him about his beautiful mommy, LA, and New York. I read to him the news headlines for October 7 on my phone.  I sing to him and bounce him when he whimpers.

 

I never thought I'd fall in love again after Chloe but here I am, head over heels for our baby boy -- our baby boy who is clearly very hungry and doesn't hesitate to make it known to the whole recovery bay.  

 

They roll Chloe in just moments after he finishes his first bottle and she's disappointed because she wanted to try to breastfeed, but I assure her there will be time enough for that later.

 

I walk the baby over to Chloe who runs her fingers through my hair and kisses me. “Thank you baby.  You were great.”

 

“Mmm, except for that part when you told me to stop touching you.”

 

“I did that?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Chloe laughs.  “I'm so sorry. I don't even remember but I'm certain I wasn't in my right mind because I'd never not want you to touch me. Except when I’m in labor, apparently.”

 

“You're lucky you're cute and just had a baby.”  I laugh and kiss her.

 

“Speaking of which, let me see Baby Boy.”

 

I put him in Chloe's arms.  It's the first opportunity she's had to really hold him and cuddle him for any length of time.  When he starts to fuss she pulls her hospital gown to the side.

 

“Baby, he ate right before you came in.”

 

“Oh, I wasn’t going to feed him. I wanted to do more skin-to-skin.  Can you help me?”

 

I put the baby back in the bassinet and take off his swaddle so that I can hand him to Chloe.

 

She has pulled the top of her hospital down creating space for the baby to rest.  When I puts him on Chloe's chest and see the way he nuzzles into her, I about nearly burst.

 

I watch her kiss him and coo at him and I smile.  She catches me and winks. 

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

“That I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy and peaceful.”

 

“Don’t I look this way when were lying in bed together after we -- “

 

“Hey, there are children present.” I cover the baby’s tiny ears with my hands that look giant next to him.

 

Chlo laughs and love is written in her smile, in her eyes, in the way she brings her arm around my neck to kiss me deeply. 

 

I mumble against her lips.  “Still children around.”

 

She playfully slaps my shoulder. “They're going to be around for the next 18 years or so, Becs.  Better get used to it now.”

 

The hand on the baby's back gently nudges him to the side so that I can get closer to her.

 

“Love you, Mommy.”

 

Love you too, Mom.”

 

And at the same time, we both peck the baby's head.  “Love you too Baby Boy,” I say.

 

XXX

 

Oliver Mitchell Beale was born in Los Angeles at 8:53 a.m. on October 7.

 

It’s now 3:23 a.m. on October 16 and I'm pretty sure I've been awake with him at some ungodly hour every night since we brought him home.

 

Chloe keeps insisting that she'll get up with him, but she doesn't. And I don't expect her to. She's recovering from pretty serious surgery and she needs her rest.  Plus it's my time to bond with Ollie. 

 

We sit in the dark while I feed him, singing songs or watching something kid friendly on TV.  It's less for him and more to keep myself occupied and awake but it always seems to turn into a running soliloquy since Ollie usually falls fast asleep and can't talk anyway.

 

Tonight, however, he seems determined to wake the neighbors.  It’s times like this that all the bouncing, rocking, pacing and singing don't make a dent in his cries.  The only thing that I've discovered that works is “ssssshhhh-ing” near his ear over and over again.

 

Ollie is slung over my shoulder, a little arm rests across my chest, and I whisper the sound into the light red fuzz on the side of his head.  As I do, I can't help but inhale.

I can smell Chloe on him, mixed with the slightly sour smell of spit-up.  It’s nothing Coco Chanel would want to bottle, but it is far and away the best scent.

 

I continue to “sssssshhhhhh” him, silencing his cries little by little.

 

“Ssssshhhh.  Sssshhhh. Sshh. Sshh,”  I breathe out some sort of made-up rhythm.  “You, Handsome, are gonna wake your mommy up and she needs her beauty sleep.”

 

Slowly, I feel Ollie’s dead weight against my body.  He’s nuzzled into my neck, his sweet steady puffs of breath on my skin.  It’s the same way that Chloe falls asleep next to me every night, and I chuckle softly at how so much of him so closely resembles her.

 

“Not that Mommy needs it. I mean, there's no denying she’s beautiful now and always will be, but she she needs her rest so she can take care of you, Mister.  You’re a handful.”

 

Ollie stirs in his sleep and I rest a hand over his back to still him.

 

“But we’d love Mommy anyway, right?  I mean, what's not to love? She has an amazing smile and a great laugh.  I think that's what made me fall in love with her. Don't tell anyone this, Ollie, but I used to say all kinds of silly things just to hear her giggle.

 

“And do you know how smart your Mommy is?   I could talk to her forever or at least until I got distracted by her adorable freckles and her eyes.  Oh, those eyes. You have them, too, you know. It was the first thing I noticed about you when you and I met.  It was hard not to.

 

“We love the way she touches us too, don't we? It's soft, but sure, and her voice is so calming whenever she sings.  I know you love it too, so don't say you don't. She only has to hold you in her arms, surround you with her warm, familiar scent that’s so unmistakably Mommy, and sing the first verse of “Time After Time,” and you’re out like last year's faux-faded retro band t-shirts.”

 

Ollie lets out a grunt that I choose to take as his tacit agreement with everything I’ve said.

 

“Fine, fine. I melt into it too.  The feel of Mommy's hand on my back, in my hair or around my waist is like a million little explosions.  You’ll understand someday when you meet someone - someone you see every time you close your eyes. That person you miss so much it aches, whether they're across the country or across the room.  

 

“God, we are really lucky to have Mommy.  She’s wanted you -- we’ve both wanted you -- for a long time and she’s so ready to take great care of you. Of course, that’s one of the most special things about your mommy.  She’s absolutely selfless and giving and wants to make sure everyone around her is happy, especially you and me. 

 

“My job is to make sure Mommy is happy too, and I don’t think anything or anyone, makes her happier than having you and having a family.  She loves you so, so much, Ollie. I can tell in the way she looks at you. The way she holds you and touches you. And all the kisses she gives you.  Some of those used to be meant for me, you know. But I guess it’s OK if she gives them to you instead. After all, you steal some my kisses for her too.  Just like that one.” I kiss his bald head softly. 

 

“And that one.” I kiss his chubby cheek.  He coos in his sleep.

 

“And that one.”  Another kiss to his little hand, which is wrapped around my finger. 

 

“Mommy is very special to me. She’s all the things I always wanted, but never thought I’d find.  And now we have an amazing life together with a beautiful new baby, who is just going to make that life even better. 

 

“We aren't perfect, Ollie, and we are going to mess up.  We all fall down, but we will always try her hardest to do our best for you, Little Man.  We love you so much. We want to teach you new things, make you laugh, protect you and give you the best of everything we possibly can. We will stop at nothing for you. 

 

“Believe me when I say Mommy is really good at all of that.  I know, because she does it for me, even now, despite the fact that I’m a grown-up.  Being around her is like, like magic. 

 

“In case you can’t tell, I love your mommy very much. She is everything to me.  She’s gives me all of her and expects nothing in return. And when I thought there couldn't possibly be any more between us, nothing we hadn't tackled together...

 

“...She gave me you.”

 

Ollie sighs heavily and shifts his head on my shoulder, but it's Chloe's sleep tinged voice at the top of the stairs that snaps me out of my rambling.  “Good morning baby,” she rasps.

 

“Me or him?”

 

She giggles a little.  “Well, both of you. We're you up all night with him again?”

 

“Just since 3, but it was cool.  We had a good chat.”

 

“Oh yeah?  About what?”

 

“About Mommy.”

 

“Mommy? Me?”

 

“Unless there's a third maternal figure in this situation that I'm unaware of.”

 

“No, I think two mommies is plenty of smothering and doting, don't you?”

 

“Ollie, you poor kid.”  I look down at him. He’s out cold and doesn’t flinch. 

 

“You must be tired. And I'm sure he's going to get hungry. Come up here.”

 

Chloe is waiting with a kiss for each of us.  I follow her into the bedroom and on to the bed as she slips her robe off her shoulders and lies down on her side, her head propped up on her hand. 

 

“Ready?”

 

“I still can't really get used to this,” she says as I lay Ollie next to her.

 

He roots around for a bit, coming up empty, until Chloe takes her nipple between her fingers and puts it to his lips, guiding it gently into his mouth.

 

He latches on and begins sucking greedily.  Every so often, he lets out a soft grunt and Chloe places her hand over his chest to quiet him.

 

I can't tear my eyes away.

 

“What?”

 

“You just look so beautiful, Chlo.”

 

“You've got to be kidding?  I haven't showered in two days and I'm basically a human Happy Meal.”

 

I shake my head in disagreement.  “Just when I thought you couldn't get any more stunning, you get pregnant. And you were absolutely  adorable pregnant and you were gorgeous in the recovery room with Ollie on your chest and you're insanely beautiful  now as a mom, feeding our little boy. How will you outdo yourself next, Chlo?”

 

She looks up at me almost shy and brings her hand up to caress my cheek.

 

I lean over to kiss her soft pink lips.  It's an innocent, tender kiss, and I let her take my breath away as she has so many times before and will forever into the future.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived at the end of the This Love series. Thanks for reading. I appreciate the comments and kudos! 
> 
> In reponse to a few questions I've received, all 7 parts of this story are named after song titles: 
> 
> This Love - Maroon 5  
> Sunday Girl - Blondie  
> My First, My Last, My Everything - Barry White  
> Simply the Best - Tina Turner  
> Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac  
> Holiday - Madonna  
> This Woman's Work - Kate Bush


End file.
